detox sux
4th day of the detox. So far I have had enough lentils to last me a life time. I hope its all worth it. Tonight my girlfriend came over and we made the most kick ass vegetarian pizza possible. I even bothered to make the base. It seams the only time the breadmaker gets used is every 6 months when I am inspired to make real pizza.
I had a scary thought yesterday. I turned 24 recently. That means that my life at worst is 1/2 gone and at best 1/4 gone. Lets say 1/3 gone as a nice average. The last 6 years since I moved to Queensland have just gone so fast, yet I can’t think of anything I have done that I am really proud of. Essentially I have done the same kind of work, driven the same car, lived in the same house with similar satisfaction from life for years now. Yet time and time again I fail to take any action and actually do something. I don’t even know what I want from life anymore. Maybe I moved here to get away from my family who were putting pressure on me to decided what I wanted to do with my life (how was I supposed to know at 18). I have been able to just coast through life and only have to think about the long term issues when I go back to Melbourne and get a grilling from the old’s.
Maybe it is partly to do with my girlfriend. We went through a rough patch last year and we actually broke up for a few weeks. We got back together but I still don’t have a long term view about anything. Everything I do is just for now. I just don’t want to think about the future. Maybe we will get married and have 3 kids, maybe we will both move on. I don’ t know. I don’t want to think about it, but after 5 years together, maybe it’s about time to answer the hard questions.
I have been thinking back to my school days a lot lately. For the record, I hated school, and hardly went. However, I can now see why older people say they school days are the best days of your life. Hopefully that isn’t the case because it means the rest of it is going to be crapola.One thing I really miss from my school days is friends. Sure I am only in contact with a few of them but distance does that. Since I moved to Brisbane I have only had one friend (G). Our relationship was always strained because we worked together and he is a difficult bastard at the best of times (I still luv ya tho). Unfortunately he left Brisbane almost two years ago.
Well that was all rather depressing wasn’t it.
Fuck it