vobiblog

I’m feeling a little better today (after the tragic weekend). However, I still can’t get my head around the whole life changing decision thing. Why is it that I keep thinking that the only way I am going to make it through uni or buy a farm is to work as hard as I can. I have always thought that working hard would solve everything.

The problem is, for the last few years, the promise of lots of $$$ for every hour I work just hasn’t been enough to motivate me to stop fucking around. Productivity has fallen to an all time low. I despise my job so much, that on days like today, I end up just going back to bed or reading crap for 3 hours rather than working. Now I accept that I will never be a true workaholic and aim to spend less time in front of the computer, move time observing nature (I stole that bit from David Holmgren) and working out what I really enjoy doing.

Today, I dropped four old broken computers off at the tip (very therapeutic), purchased a second compost bin, and tidied the yard. For dinner I cooked a Lamb Tagine with Zucchini and Za’atar. Today was less work than usual got done, but I am already feeling more productive, and certainly a whole lot more relaxed than if I had spent my whole day at the fucking computer.

It’s official. I have become a lazy ass uni student. According to my former employer, there is no need for me to grow my hair and dress down, as I have always looked like that. What would he know. At least I have never embraced the pinnacle of fashion hideousness that is the corporate polo.

I am studying for a Bachelor of Built Environment in Urban and Regional Planning. We are told that the Built Environment bit will be dropped from the course shortly. After I complete the Bachelor (three years), and then a post-grad (between 1 and 1.5 years), I will have the qualifications needed to become a town planner. YAY!

There are a couple reasons why am doing this course. The first is that I wanted to study in a field that was going to challenge me. The graphics and hand writing require in this course are really going to require some hard work to get them up to standard. The other reason is that I didn’t get into Architecture. The option may be there to move across after a year, but I think I will just see how things go with this course before committing to changing.

Unfortunately, I still have to work to support myself. This means I will still be doing that icky computer gig on the side. Well, at least until I pay off all my debts and find something better to do.

So much has happend since my last post. I would write about it all, but I don’t have time now. Instead I will leave you with a picture of our pet crow. His/Her name is Charlie. He/She fell out of his/her nest and broke his/her wing when he/she was a baby. We have been looking after him ever since. He/She still can’t fly, and even though we don’t keep him/her in a cage, he/she never wonders too far from the house. Yes, its very hard to tell if crows are male for female.

Yesterday was the worst day I have had for a long time. I am feeling the consequences of it today. As previously mentioned, I have started working somewhere 3 days a week as a project manager.

While I have been making some headway, the boss had some bad news. Basically the company had been pushed out of a reasonably large deal. This in itself was not a fatal blow, but what followed was. The first head to roll was the Windows tech, which was completely unrelated. Then the boss told the most senior programmer working under me that he wasn’t fired, but he would be in a few weeks. Add this to the fact the office administrator is leaving next Friday, by my standards, the business is in a bit of a mess.

After Xenon, I never wanted to be responsible for fucking with peoples livelyhood. I still remember the day I had to lay off the remaining staff. Just on four weeks into this job and I am finding myself in a similar position.

It also looks like the software development devision of the company will be closed unless the other full time developer and I agree to take on 2/3 ownership, become directors and support ourselves rather than getting a wage. I don’t know what to do. I only took this job because I didn’t want to have to work for myself. Now it looks like I may have to anyway.

So last night, we had a beer, then went to the pub, had a few beers, went back to the office and had a few more. I’m not really sure how I got home. I think I caught the train. I have packet of cigarettes and a few buts on the ground outside that look like they have only had a few puffs taken out of them. I do remember waking up infront of rage at 3am, still very intoxicated.

I had to go into the office to pick up my bike. The ride home eased the hangover a little. I think I need some more greasy food.

My beautiful girl came home today :))))

Today, for some reason, I check the letter box. I wouldn’t usually do this on a Sunday. Anyway, there was blank envelope in it. So I opened it and it contained $25 an a note saying

“Please accept this assistance for your wonderful cats”

How fucking weird. It is nice and all but really, who would do something like that. It couldn’t be someone I know. And why give me money? Do they think I am really poor because the grass is over grown or because I drive a bucket of shit? What do I do with the $25? Do I hang on to it in case someone owns up to giving it to me? or do I go out and buy a shit load of cat food?

Hopefully this person isn’t going to find my cats too wonderful and take them away from me :(

Oh, and on the off chance that the person who put it in my letter box actually reads this, Thanks!

Another sucky weekend at the office :( Id much rather be cleaning up my some.. or something. I am so not in the mood for writing database reports that don’t even make sense.

In an undercover operation, The Sunday Mail discovered that non-disabled people are using car parks reserved for disabled people. How is that news?

Also in todays paper is an outline of how Iraq is going to be invaded. What the fuck is up with that? It says in plain English that the US are going to use “smart” weapons (as opposed to the dumb weapons that Iraq has) to cause mass destruction on what is left of Iraq’s infrastructure.

Why do we have to bomb the fuck out of Iraq. If you really wanted to get rid of Saddam, surely there is a more efficient way of doing it. One that is going to fuck millions of people.

Besides, what is more worrying. A mad Christian fundamentalist Texan controlling 10,600 nuclear weapons or Saddam and a few barrels of 10 year old chemical weapons he has been stashing under his bed. NO BLOOD FOR OIL!